No Roles, baby, just biscuits!

He said…

…It took me a while to date after ending a marriage of 20 years. I had gotten so comfortable in my roles and it all changed so quickly…my career, my address, my relationship with my family…all over the course of a year. It was difficult! Let’s face it, roles are nothing but habits that become responsibilities that need to be maintained. Roles give you a routine, a familiarity. Now, I found myself with no direction.

I wanted to take time to get to know me. I had an opportunity to reflect on and have time for me, and I knew there was stuff I needed to work on. I couldn’t see “putting myself on the market.” It was time to improve and to grow. I needed a little spit shin on this mess!

Eventually I decided to go online and make some profiles. I found that it was fun meeting new people and collecting stories from their perspective, even the dating disasters, and I was content. At least I thought I was. I wish I had a vocabulary to frame what we have, I’ve tried before. When we met for a drink, I had become pretty good at first impressions and being rather charming, so I was a confident mess! Everything I thought I knew about myself was about to change.

From the first moment, it was effortless. We laughed and talked for hours before noticing the time. I wanted to believe that I could be a player, but that night confirmed the romantic in me. I could go on and on about our attraction and the kissing in the parking lot, but I’m too much of a gentleman to brag. 😉

I was standoffish for a while and tried to play it safe, but she made it impossible because I love being with her. She laughs at my jokes and validates my silliness. When she talks she always says the right thing, yet we can sit together in silence that is never awkward. It all comes down to how she makes me feel. It’s hard for me to predict what the future will be like, because I have never been in love like this before. And that’s what made me want to document it all going forward.  I hope you’ll stick around and see how things unfold! We love spending time together, especially seeing the world together. And we want to bring you along for the ride. ~T

…She said

“I tend to be childish, with some moments of adulting. I’ve piloted planes, wrote and published books, owned and operated bars and restaurants, licensed gaming dealer, and AMAZON PRIME MEMBER! There’s more, but I don’t want to see unapproachable.”

…and I laughed! That was the profile that caught my eye; a single father of two, twenty-something girls on Plenty of Fish. Okay, so that wasn’t the ONLY thing that caught my eye! It also said, “wants to date but nothing serious.” Perfect! It took me more than 15 minutes to message him, as all those awkward high school feelings that I thought were far, far away started to surface again. But I kept going back to him. What what the worst that could happen?

He had labeled himself a “coffee snob” so I figured, let’s start there. To this day, neither one of us are sure about what I actually said, but it was something along the lines of “we coffee snobs have to stick together.” *insert eye roll emoji here!*

But he answered! And it didn’t take long for him to ask me out for a drink…and I panicked! This dating thing was new to me! I was married for almost 25 years before being separated, and then widowed before the divorce was final. What did I know about dating anymore! It could be dangerous meeting a stranger right? But did. He seemed…different. And he is, in the best possible ways! <3 The conversation was effortless from the very first drink and still is.

A couple dates later, I’m pretty sure it was at IHOP (because OF COURSE we both love breakfast for dinner) we were talking a little about not taking things too seriously and how our lives had changed. You see, he was now divorced for a couple years after also being married for 20 years. He talked about he was learning to find his way and figure out who he was without all of the roles that had defined him for so long. He had been husband, father, provider, head of household, and any number of other names that spoke of what he did, not who he was. To which I responded –

“no more roles, baby, just biscuits!”

And I meant it! We had lived almost our entire lives for other people. We had to, and we did it gladly. But our lives were different now, and our children were grown, so what did that mean for us?

And that is how this blog, and our relationship, was born! We hope you’ll share this journey and our journeys with us. Because life is all about the gravy! ~D